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Friday, July 6, 2012

LOAD UP THAT WHOPPER WITH ALL THEM TOPPINGS TIL IT BURSTS



Not gonna lie, I had never even heard the original Lil Wayne/Rick Ross song that this parody is ripping off. I wasn't sure if that was the sign of a good parody or a good original...





So then of course I looked up "John" (linked above). The post industrial/Gowanus Canal/wheelchair with spinners (technically all wc's have spinners) motif is completely lost on me. In fact, I would rather these guys have just made a song about food--fast or otherwise. This got me thinking about some of the memorable culinary-inspired rap lines:

"We eat so many shrimp, we get iodine poisonin'"-- Three 6 Mafia, "Sippin on Some Syrup" (no, not maple)

"Tryin to get my hands on some Grants like Horace/Yeah livin the raw deal, three course meals/Spaghetti, fettucini, and veal" -- Sean "Puffy" Combs, "All About the Benjamins" (I had to get that Horace Grant line in there)
"***** please, I'm the macaroni with the cheese" -- Yet another Puffy line, this time from "Been Around the World." This dude loves carbs, huh? (submitted by Michael)

"If I wanna squirt her, take her to Fatburger" --Biggie "Going Back to Cali" (thanks again to Michael)
"So we can steam on the way to the telly go fill my belly/ a T bone steak, cheese, eggs and Welch's Grape" -- Biggie, "Big Poppa"
"I mean loyalty, *****s bought me milks at lunch/the milks was chocolate, the cookies? butter crunch" --Biggie "Sky is the Limit" So lets be real BIG liked food and could rap about it as eloquently as he could any other topic ("now honeys play me close like butter play toast"). This list could go on and on (RIP).

"Admirin' my shoes by Gucci, I be eatin' sushi, playin' with my coochie" --Lil Kim in Jr. Mafia's "Get Money (Remix)" (which samples a favorite DYSR track "Don't Look Any Further" by Dennis Edwards). Sorry (I'm not sorry) to over-do it on the late-90s Bad Boy, but damn we grew up on the east coast, and honestly, I could have posted this whole verse. Kim was so gully back in those days. Whenever I'm not actin' right I think to my self, what would Kim do?

Now I'm getting lazy, but Ice Cube makes multiple references to eating right in "Today was a Good Day" -- "2 in the mornin, got the fat burger" among others.


"You're a delicious, nutritious, dish of fish/an official bitch" --Necro "Who's Your Daddy." Another DYSR classic. Please take our word for it and have a listen, if not for the excellent sample then at least to find out what a "sexy belt" is.

"Have you ever went over a friends house to eat and the food just aint no good/I mean the macaroni's soggy, the peas are mushed, and the chicken tastes like wood..." Sugar Hill Gang "Rapper's Delight." So obviously this is a classic, or should I say the classic.  This verse goes on to describe the horrors of bad meals at obligatory social functions. Luckily at the end, the protagonist and his gastronomically-challenged buddy are "still friends." Word.

"You biter, non-writer, Mr. Potato Head or Ida/Deep-fried crinkle cut, one nickel cup fucked your whole LP up" --RZA, "NYC Everything"
"Can't forget Bobby, if I did I'd feel gyp/Like my sandwich ain't a sandwich without Miracle Whip" Method Man "NYC Everything." This song also happens to have good lines about various brands of beer.

So obviously this list is incomplete. I'm putting out an APB for great rap lines about food...
--SF



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