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Monday, November 19, 2012

FACEBOOK IS FOR REAL LOSERS

Do you ever think about  Facebook from the outside, in a sort of meta way? Do you ever wonder who is looking at your Facebook? Do you ever post things on your Facebook in the hopes that you will one day be scene by your crush and they will click through all 1,287 of your pictures on a rainy Sunday? Have you ever fucked some girls boyfriend and then the girlfriend "de-friended" you? Why were you even friends in the first place with that girl? Maybe you just happened to add her the first week freshman year of college in 2006.  Has that happened to you 3 times? ok maybe not.. just me then.. thats fine...  girls should hold onto their boyfriends better... sheesh!

Anyways, I can relate to all of these concepts.  As I am sure many others can as well.  Today I would like to do something that no one has ever done before.  I am going to take you on a journey of my "Facebook use" and show you exactly what I do on there. No sensoring. This is straight forward exactly how I use Facebook.

First I log in and take notice of the first few "status updates".  For instance Sammie Lee says" The amount of times I will be checking my e-mail today is not healthy".  First I wonder "Who is Sammie Lee?".  I assume it is someone from highschool that has changed their name so that a future employee can't see pictures of them drinking in Cabo.  I also notice that Alex Odell has checked into Brownstone Diner & Pancake Factory. I wonder if its any good? Its in New Jersey so it has to be!  Matthew Roseman (My sweet heart of a boyfriend... I should mention we are not "in a relationship" on Facebook.  We had to talk about this and come to this decision as a couple. I am sure many others had to as well.) has posted pictures of a trip we took to Israel over the summer. Already I have some great things to look at and and sort through!!! How exciting!!  This Journey on Facebook will prove fruitful.  (Happy Birthday to Matt Porter as well!!!)

First I have to click on "Sammie Lee". It is going to drive me positively crazy if I don't figure out who this person is.  I originally thought they were a girl but by the looks of it, they appear to be a boy.  Sammie is a confusing name like that.  He has some interesting past jobs: Orange county snowboard something- or-another and he studied exercise science.  Also another important clue is that they are from New City, NY.  Thats the town I'm from so we definitely went to high school together.  Well I don't recognize any of the boys in the profile picture so I will go ahead and click it. I will find out who this person is!!


ok now I know who this is!!  I remember her being a really sweet girl.  She was really into sports and her mom was my girl scouts troop leader in like 3rd grade.  But ugh I just wasted basically 30 minutes that I will never get back.  UGH why couldn't she just leave her name as the name I remember from 3rd grade?!??!! UGHHHHHH HSAFH GHGGHH HHHASUFGH KSDGFJL ASKGH KASHGF


Now I'm really fucking mad. At this point I slam my mac shut and I still haven't looked at the adorable pictures that Matt has posted of us on our romantic trip.  See what Sammie Lee has done~?!?! Ugh its not her fault.  Its my fault. If only I wasn't so curious...

... TO BE CONTINUED
-KD


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