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Tuesday, November 13, 2012

"I pick her up at 9, drop her off and it's fine": LiTTLE LiNC and what BOYS really want from GIRLS



"She work as a clerk as I spark up the purp'"

I love this guy. I'm sad because no one is going to like him as much and for as long as I probably will.  I was forced to watch a Riff Raff video, and honestly, I felt pretty down on Riff Raff and was being all "this fuckin' guy" and closed minded, until I spotted LiTTLE LiNC sitting on an armchair in their hotel room looking super normal. Just wearing a black long sleeve t shirt and a backpack with a blue gatorade in the water bottle pouch. Michael goes, "his thing is sophomore year." I couldn't agree more. He's the kinda guy who never talked during school hours but somehow ended up everywhere on the weekends still not talking for the most part. He worked at shop rite and after ignoring his mom for 4 years, saved up his money and bought her a necklace one Christmas. Oh and he really liked Eminem, and when supposedly the town was "dry" he sold you a bag of weed that kind of smelled like pine in a baseball field parking lot.

I wrongly assumed that LiTTLE LiNC was a one-off cameo in a Gary Oldman's character from True Romance Riff Raff video. But then I found this (and, I should add, a treasure trove of other videos including a rap battle !!! but shhh I haven't watched those 'cus like I have a life, ya know?). The above video is all about the basics. What a guy REALLY needs from a girl. I believe Sisqo described this as "the finer things in life"--you know 'cus all the ladies should know what guys talk about (answer: thongs?). Michael's friend "Mr. Nicholson" said LiTTLE LiNC should just come out with an album called "I Got Needs." Which made me realize that I wanna come out with an album called "I Got Needs." Maybe we all should come out with albums called "I Got Needs."You know those guys who stand around in Union Square wearing those all-NBA franchise bomber jackets peddling their rap CDs for $5, what if you could go up to someone at a bar or show or yoga place or wherever you elicit random sex romantic partners and be like "yo you should check out my CD there's a lot of hot fire on there including how you can satisfy me in pretty much every way imaginable"? It would cut out so much of the..."riff raff." I'm not gonna tell you what I would rap about on my CD because it's way too vile/embarrassing for internet publication, and KD isn't gonna tell you either because she would NEVER actually make a list of characteristics for a dude--she'd just say "punk rock," because she's 13. BUT we're in luck because there are SOOO many dudes who want you to know exactly what they value in objects of affection...




<3SF

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