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Friday, September 14, 2012

AS SEEN ON TV: Famous Boxed (non-cereal) Foods

It's time for another, slightly abbreviated version of DYSR's "As seen on TV" series. We're exploring the world of boxed foodstuffs. Not cereals though--that's a whole different can of worms--just those miracle products designed by food scientists to satisfy even the busiest families' hunger for a wholesome meal...

This is a choice cut: Hamburger Helper Lasagna. In this "meal-o," Italian herbs and spices and that pain in the ass hamburger meat you can't figure out how to use fit together like a hand and...glove. Also this is probably the only glove (mitt?) lampooned as much as OJ's.

This is the cheesiest. There's not much to say about this really, except that in all the iterations of these commercials it becomes undeniably clear that the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese dinosaur is going through the type of addiction/withdrawal pattern only the Trix rabbit can truly understand. Maybe someone should start a Betty Crocker clinic?

Oh and this is like the most infuriating thing ever, although the singer works magic with the lyrics "cheesy noodles."

Is it me, or did it seem like Rice-a-Roni was trying to uphold a more sentimental/wholesome image? Very Full House, very family values, very Harry Connick Jr.  I will say that I always wished their ads were a little more gay, but they just weren't going the progressive route. A notable scene here is when the two kids jump into their father's arms at the same time--it adds a touch of danger.

This one seems very "California Raisins."

Here we can see they were feeling the heat from their competitors. Pasta Roni? None for me thanks.--sf

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