THONGS

For as long as I can remember I've thought it'd be hilarious to make thong underwear with a picture of Edvard Munch's 1893 masterpiece The Scream on it. But how does one "make" thong underwear? Alchemy? Cheap overseas factory labor? Betty Page (maybe the hottest woman ever) used to make most of her own underwear for photo shoots, but she's dead now (RIP).

Ask and the internet shall retrieve. Cafepress will pretty much make you anything. I'm sure kids have printed like bomb recipes on polo shirts with this website. And check this out--they already have a mock-up of The Scream on panties! Could you imagine some loser pulling your pants down and being confronted by an image that influenced not only the German Expressionist movement of the early 20th century but also Macaulay Culkin's character Kevin McCallister in 1990's Christmas classic Home Alone? Would you not seem like the coolest, most independent, smartest, best-music-liking, not-to-be-fucked-with girl on the planet? You would. And the only better people would be me and the visionaries at cafepress.

My only issue with these is that the image is a wee bit small. Hmmm...

Also--you're gonna like this--while I was typing "the scream" into the search field I screwed up and wrote "the cream" instead. Would have been cool if some Wu Tang shit popped up. BUT INSTEAD, this is the horrible thing that was unleashed onto my screen in light of my error: 

--SF